The unofficial start of summer kicks off over Memorial Day weekend. We’d like to share some tips for getting through what can be a heavy weekend if you’ve lost someone in the military, share some gifts for the grieving, and help you update your TBR with some new books to help you navigate grief this summer. 

This substack is free to you this time, but remember to get journal prompts and future newsletters to click the subscribe button. Remember that 50% of all substack subscriptions this month go to Adjust Your Sails Foundation. Listen to Heather share her daughter, Elizabeth’s story here. 

Memorial Day Can Be Hard. Whether you’ve recently lost someone in the military or if a veteran in your family has passed away, this can be a tough weekend for you. Some people can be insensitive to the reason that we don’t work on Memorial Day. (If you didn’t know, it’s meant to commemorate those who died fighting for our country). Do your best to guard your own peace and do what’s best for you over the holiday weekend.  

• Take time to celebrate your loved ones. Whether that means going to the cemetery and decorating their place of rest or honoring them in another way, carve out some time to do what helps you remember your loved one. 

• Bring their favorite dish. Inevitably,  you’re going to get invited to a cookout. Consider bringing their favorite dish.

• Share stories with your family and friends. Ernest Hemingway famously said, “Every man has two deaths, when he is buried in the ground and the last time someone says his name.” Tell your friends and family some of your favorite memories. 

Summer Means More Reading Time!

Note: We have the books linked to some of our favorite indie bookstores, but feel free to support your own local book store! (You can also support your indie stores on bookshop.org). 

Many of our podcast listeners are also avid readers, so we will always be quick to share some books that we’ve loved. 

If you listened to Episode 17, and want to learn more about Heather Tracy’s book, Only a Chapter. In one timeline, Clare finds out she has breast cancer and in the other, she doesn’t. Tracy incorporated her real life experiences with breast cancer and covers other topics of grief as well in this unique fiction novel. 

Alive Day by Karie Fugett is a memoir where Fugett details not only her hardships prior to marrying her husband, but the aftermath of his traumatic injury in Iraq. Karie’s life changes overnight from a caregiving navigating hospitals, caregiving, and her husband’s dependency on opioids. Julia just started this one and feels its also a great book for those who aren’t mourning the loss of a person, but the loss of what life could have been if something tragic hadn’t happened. 

Always a Sibling by Annie Sklaver Orenstein is an excellent book if you’ve lost a sibling. We recommend this to our clients and listeners who reach out when they’re struggling with this unique loss. (We hope that Annie will one day be a podcast guest because she writes her story in the most relatable way.) 

Grief is a Sneaky Bitch by Lisa Keefauver is one that both of us are reading now to prep for our interview with Lisa, who will be on the podcast in June. If you’re facing any kind of grief, this a book for you. It’s very relatable and honest and we are excited to speak with Lisa soon!

We didn’t want to leave you without a beach read. Say You’ll Remember Me by Abby Jiminez was one of the most anticipated romances this Spring. This wasn’t just a romance, but covered caregiving, dementia, depression and loneliness, and everything else in between. It truly is a beautiful book, but Julia wants to warn you to read at home as she made the mistake of bringing her copy on a plane and ugly crying in front of strangers…

Gifts for the Grieving

Many of you have reached out to us about gift ideas to give to people following a loss, whether that is a death, struggling with infertility, losing their job, or any of the other ways in which we grieve. Here are some of our go to gifts or those that we have received and found helpful. 

• Jewelry. This is a powerful gift for any loss. Our friends at Mudlove  offer bracelets with words to give your loved one hope or to incorporate their favorite Bible verse, etc. Following the loss of her dog, Julia received a gorgeous bracelet with her dog’s image on it that still finds its way to her daily stack on a regular basis, and when cleaning out her closet, she found a bunch of letters from her grandmother and her signature engraved on a bracelet thanks to Envision Design. 

• Food. Many people may say they’re not hungry, but one day, they might be and cooking will be exhausting. But also, sometimes people are struggling, but have other family members at home that need food. Spoonful of Comfort comes straight to your friend or family member’s door. They can heat it up then, or refrigerate/freeze it for later. 

• All the Comfort Gifts. One of our readers, shared that she received a plush weighted elephant when she was going through a tough time. “Just having it lie on my shoulder or chest while reading or knitting was a lovely reminder of my faraway friend that cares,” she said. We have also benefited from gifts of blankets, cozy socks, and all things that help us rest comfortably as we grieve. 

• Garden Items. Another gift we have received is wind chimes and garden rocks for our landscaping. The chimes are to be a reminder of your loved one every time you hear them and it always puts a smile on our face when we hear them (which is frequent thanks to Midwest weather!) 

We want to hear from you! What gifts should we add to this list? Find us on instagram or email us at movingforwardwithmiaandjulia@gmail.com. 

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